Stuck again 2019 C7 A8 post cam swap, new tcm, 3barsd

This car kills me.

Cannot for the life of me get this car in order. Current issue, after swapping in new battery and HPT unlocked TCM, whenever attempting to put the car into "diagnostic mode" to program said TCM (do not have original have to go sps route), K11 relay cycles rapidly and as that is the relay powering ECM com is lost to all modules. Tried combos of both TCM and ECM units. It will change some dtc codes but the main issue persists:

Checked fuses, checked relays, checked volts on bus 2.4 / 2.7 and 60 ohms on ODB2 side; Checked grounds, swapped ECM,TCM checked all cam lock harnesses, new battery on tender; Been to handful of shops with no definite answer. All have tried blaming HPT until I swapped ECM, now they simply just say "modified" return to stock (cause we all know VVD/DOD create electrical issues) Ugh... If I go to just acc on I can read all modules but it would clearly time out before any programming can be done.

Anyone got a breadcrumb I could try to follow, I'm out of ideas. Car is sitting with inner fenders off, bcm exposed, tcm hanging, ecu exposed I can easily grab, test and tug things.