Well as far as Torque Management goes I can tell you for some reason on the newer trucks 07 and up they can kind of act weird if you just zero out the Torque management tables so I wouldnt do that, not sure why?
As far as how much to remove and keep your trans alive for awhile I feel that 50%-60% removed is a good safe bet and you will get some conflicting answers as you have read. Me personally on my truck I have had no torque management at all now going on like 3 years and my trans is still holding up ok (shifts are getting softer though) but I think that my trans is just some kind of freak.
If you want to firm up the shift a good place to start and it makes a huge difference is to install a corvette servo, this makes the 1-2 shift alot more solid because from the factory it is just plain sloppy IMO.