when I try to manually shift through the gear i get no gear change till i put the shifter in d4 or back off the throttle completely let it shift and then i can get on the throttle again. do I have a setting out of wack?
You've got a clutch reaching the end of it's life.
Can't hold until you back off--reduce power. Fluid change won't help. If you do drop the pan, break open the filter.
How long have you been driving the vehicle with the tune as is, and how long has the transmission been acting the way it is? Do you have a data log of the shift issue you could post? I have only had a chance to glance over your tune quickly, but it looks like there are a couple of adjustments that could be made.